Emmi Expecting: 21 Weeks

How far along: 21 weeks
Total weight gain: ?
Favourite clothes: I've been living in my pyjamas
Sleeping: Horribly, but being sick does that
Best Moment: How much time I spend reading to G. I absolutely love how much he loves being read to!
Worst Moment: Toss up between Saturday and throwing up Wednesday
Miss anything: Not really
Cravings: I have absolutely no appetite this week
New symptoms: More movement! I even felt one kick from the outside!
Looking forward to: Vacation starts in two days!
Crafting: Scarf (I was hired!) and a present for my mom

Mother's Day was a post unto itself, but it was a good day. Monday was chill. I finally finished the monster pants! Yay!!! We also met with the contractor and I worked on cleaning up our bedroom and bathroom, even though we'll be moving downstairs in August.

On Tuesday, G stayed home from school because they had a stomach bug going around and it was a difficult day; James was feeling sick and we had a window estimate scheduled right during G's nap time. He was fussy all day; maybe he wasn't feeling great. By Wednesday, I had a fever and felt horrible. G went to school because I knew I wouldn't be able to take care of him and me. I ended up throwing up and found out from the OB's nurse that there was a nasty stomach bug going around. It seems like there's always a stomach bug here; this is my second in three months after years without, and his school always seems to have one. Needless to say, Wednesday was horrible, and I wasn't able to do anything. It got worse on Saturday, and I'm really just hoping that it'll all be over by the time we leave for vacation.

Thursday I found out G is a secret genius. At school he can make animal noises, name different animals (including rabbit) and is practicing the other kids' names and says "eat" when it's time to eat. He knows "door" and is practicing throwing away trash (he does that at home too). He also can tell his teacher that he needs a change, saying "poo" and pointing at his diaper (time to seriously start potty training!) At home, he babbles nonsensically, and though we know he understands the words and sentences we say, he doesn't say them himself. It's like he knows how to make me worry! He did however add a bunch of words this week: bye bye doggahs, beep beep, whee, yah (yes), boo (blue), bohl (bowl), peese (please) and ree (read). Not consistent, but definitely heard them. He makes vroom noises for his truck as well as saying "go go go."

G stayed home from school Friday because he threw up Thursday evening and again Friday morning. It usually seems to be after milk. So we made an appointment with his new doctor, and we're going to try almond milk for a while to see if it might be a milk protein thing. She said overall he looks healthy and on track developmentally. So far, so good with the almond milk

It's been a really difficult week. Pregnancy is very emotionally taxing for me and being sick (especially stomach bugs) exacerbates that. As usual, any strong emotion makes me cry, and G decided that this week would be a perfect time to start preferring daddy. By preferring daddy, I mean rejecting me. When James is around he wants to be in his lap or held by him and any affection I try to give him is met by being smacked in the face or pushed away. If James leaves his sight, even just going to the kitchen, he has a total tantrum and won't accept any comfort from me. I know it's a phase and not personal, but it does feel like I'm a failure at motherhood and breaks my heart. I can't stop crying when this happens and James can't understand why I let it upset me so much. I keep trying to explain that I can't seem to help it and intellectually knowing it's not personal and emotionally feeling alright with it are completely different things. I'm doing the best I can, but this week has me stretched almost to breaking. The doctor said that its probably because he spends the most time with me and feel safest with me so he feels like he can press my buttons and push the envelope more with me than daddy. It's still difficult, but I'm really trying to just take it for what it is and enjoy the cuddles and giggles I do get (Saturday was good for this even though I couldn't do much of anything.)