4 Months

G is four months old today! What happened to 1/3 of the year? My little baby isn't so little anymore. I was looking at pictures of his first bath and he looked so small in the infant bath; now we're about to take out the sling, have had to remove the changing attachment on the playard and remove the bassinet level! So what's he been up to? Well, if I may borrow a friend's format:

Grayson:
-can hold his head up like crazy
-can almost sit up on his own and put weight on his legs with assistance
-may possibly be teething, but is definitely drooling on everything
-is trying to blow raspberries. This exacerbates the drooling
-is still exclusively breastfed
-has been sleeping through the night! (with a few difficult nights)
-found his feet and likes to hold onto them, especially when changed, which happens about 15 times a day
-kicks up a storm (future Riverdancer?)
-babbles at us every night and is extremly vocal
-has the cutest, most heart-melting smile and the most adorable laugh
-still needs to be swaddled and have white noise to fall asleep
-loves his bath
-wears size 2 diapers and 3 month clothes
-enjoys being read to and watching Food Network

I'm doing pretty well. I'm below my prepregnancy weight because of breastfeeding and am starting to exercise again to reach my pre-San Diego weight. I pump 30-40 oz per day, which has resulted in a quite impressive freezer stash. Anything G doesn't eat will be donated to CHOC. I'm still exhausted because while G sleeps through the night, I'm still waking up to check on him and sometimes to scoot him up when he fusses because he's kicked himself too low in his car seat. Between this and pumping, I also can't use G's naps to sleep since I have to use them to get things done, which results in a zombie-like, often grumpy mama.   We've been settling into a nice routine, though it's not set in stone, and I wouldn't want it to be. I'm often running late the days that I work, but have been managing. G stays with me in the morning, then goes to the Infant Care Center at James' work for the afternoon, which he seems to really enjoy. We're still struggling with naps, since he usually takes two 30 minute naps a day, which results in a very fussy baby come night time; the days he takes longer naps, he is very pleasant. We're also struggling with "silent reflux," which we thought was congestion. He's now taking Zantac twice a day, and sleeping in his car seat since being flat is too uncomfortable for him. He also still hates tummy time, though the doctor says that probably has to do with the reflux too. Hopefully he'll grow out of it quickly and the medicine will help until then. Overall, he's a pretty awesome baby and I can't get over how much I love him or how fast he's growing. Some days I can't wait til he can talk, other days I wonder where the tiny little newborn went.

Best Moments:
-One night, he was leaning against my knees and we were talking to him. He looked up at me and James, then laughed out loud. We laughed back bc it was adorable, and that made him laugh, which made us laugh again. It went on for about 5 minutes until I was nearly in tears from laughing. <3
-His little eyes peeking up above the ergo when he was a little too small to be without the infant insert but too big for the insert. It was adorable and now he's big enough to properly fit. I missed the opportunity to get a photo of it, but will always remember just his eyes peeking out.
-We were sitting on the couch, and I looked down in time to see him gently pet Moose on the head. I doubt the intentionality of this gesture, as he usually just flails at the dogs, but it was still pretty sweet.

February 14. 4 months old, starting month 5!! 

14 lbs, 24.5 inches. The pediatrician said he is just perfect!

Breastfeeding

[Disclaimer: Nipples and boobs are discussed. Kinda par for the course with breastfeeding]

There's been a huge push toward breastfeeding lately. It's with good reason--the health benefits of breast milk are innumerable and far-reaching and it's definitely the best thing for your baby. However, the pressure exerted on a woman to breastfeed is, in my opinion, completely unfair. Even though I had always planned to breastfeed, I still felt pressured about it and with the problems I've encountered, this pressure has made me feel that I must justify and explain myself to other mothers, health care professionals, etc why I am not nursing. Anyways, here is my breastfeeding story. I hope it might help other women who may have gone through the same thing.

They put Grayson to the breast about 20 minutes after he was born. I continued to nurse him while we were in the hospital, but it wasn't easy and G would often get very frustrated. I felt like he wasn't getting anything. The lactation consultant came in and taught me how to use a nipple shield and recommended I pump after nursing him since I apparently had flat nipples. We would use a syringe to suck up what I pumped and give it to him after he nursed the next time. The day we went home, my insurance and the company they contracted out with finally came through and my very own pump was delivered.

We returned to the Mother Baby Assessment Unit four days after G was born, and he had lost nearly a pound. While it's common for newborns to lose some weight in the first few days, they were concerned and sent us to the pediatrician for the next available appointment (Monday). They also watched me nurse him and it was determined that he wasn't getting much of anything when he was nursing. He had a weak suck, a high palette, lazy suck, all sorts of theories were thrown out. It did however explain his frustration when we nursed. I went to the breastfeeding workshop the next day, and they gave me a  syringe with a tube attached that I could put in his mouth or inside the nipple shield. I got him to eat a bit, but again, he wasn't too happy, and I was still having to do breast compressions to get him to keep sucking.  The lactation consultant was very nice and said that if we got too frustrated, we could always feed him the pumped milk in a bottle in a pinch.

We tried everything. We used the syringe, the nipple shield, the curved syringe. We put a bit of expressed milk into the shield, I did breast compressions, I stroked his cheeks to initiate the rooting reflex (I don't think he actually had that), we even stuck the tube straight into his mouth. Nothing seemed to work and he just ended up completely red in the face from screaming, and I usually ended up in tears, feeling like I was failing. We finally broke down that weekend and started feeding him expressed milk from a bottle. It was like we had a completely different baby! He ate gladly, with a bit of dribbling, and by the time we saw the pediatrician he was only a few ounces under his birthweight! By his two week appointment he had surpassed it!

We still made an appointment for a private lactation consult, but that resulted in the consultant saying that we were doing so well with pumping that if she were us, she'd stick with that. We also made an appointment with a speech pathologist (pediatrician recommended) to make sure that there would be no other problems from his having a weak suck or high palette. According to her, he had neither. And apparently, there is no such thing as nipple confusion--it's actually a preference; some babies just prefer a synthetic nipple to a real one. Apparently, G prefers the synthetic. And thus began my embarkation into the world of exclusive pumping or EPing.

There's not much out there on EPing. Even at the doctor's office, the question "Are you breastfeeding?" is a verbal and emotional minefield. Technically, he is breastfed, just from a bottle. But if you say you're bottle feeding, they assume it's with formula. And then there's the feelings of inadequacy because as a "good" mother, you're supposed to be nursing. You feel the need to explain that you've tried, very hard, but it just didn't work, and that he's still getting breastmilk. I would honestly love to nurse Grayson. It was something I was really looking forward to, actually. Unfortunately, that's not the way it's worked out for us. I tell myself that he's healthy and happy and that should be enough, but I still worry about that bond sometimes.

Pumping hasn't been easy either. First, my nipples cracked and bled. They were so sore that the nursing pads, my bra, my shirt, everything that touched them or put any pressure on them hurt. They would bleed. A few times, it actually tinged the milk red. I threw out that milk the first time before the pediatrician told me that if he were nursing, he'd be getting it anyways. Still creeps me out, but it hasn't happened that much. Then I got costalchondritis, which is an inflammation of the cartilage that attached your ribs to your sternum, but presents as breast pain. I felt like a knife was being dragged along inside my breast with each breath, but holding my breath didn't relieve the pain. James came home to find me in bed, trying to stifle sobs to keep Grayson from waking up. Tylenol only blunted the pain, but it finally went away after a few weeks. My OB put me on a low dose estrogen pill. None of his other patients had problems with it, but it cut my supply in half within 5 days, and I switched to the mini-pill which has totally messed with my body. I ate fenugreek like candy until I reeked of maple syrup (it really works!) and drank Mother's Milk tea religiously. I pumped every three hours, I did powerpumping (ten minutes on, ten minutes off for an hour or once an hour all day). I woke up in the wee hours of the morning to pump. In the first ten weeks, I had 5 bouts of clogged ducts. Looking back on this, I'm pretty sure at least 3 of them were full blown mastitis since they hurt so badly I could barely move my arm. I pumped through the pain, even massaging the clogged ducts (sometimes through tears and curses) and haven't had a bout since a very minor (6th one) over Christmas. I even had to pop a clogged duct on my nipple (milk blister) to unclog one bout with a sterilized pin. I got blisters on my nipples that the pump would pop, and they would bleed. I even got to the point where James would have to wake me up to pump what Grayson was going to eat, which meant he screamed for 15 minutes while I pumped. I've agonized (and cried) over how much (or how little) milk I was producing and panicked over the possibility of supplementing with formula (and bitched at James for suggesting it. We've never had to, thank God). I've pumped in public bathroom stalls, cold showrooms, at the front desk at work, in the car in broad daylight, in the car at night, on the floor in an empty room, and twice in airplane seats (by far the worst).

After all of this, I've finally seem to have settled into a routine. I pump 5 times a day, every four hours, starting at 6 am and have been able to drop the middle of the night session. I can even put off a session for a while if I really need to, though my breasts will get engorged, leak and be sore depending on how long it's been. My breasts are still tender sometimes and my nipples are still sore and get a blister or two, but after the initial twenty seconds of cursing under my breath, I'm fine. I also still have to do breast compressions, but I get anywhere from 10-14 oz in the morning, then usually 6 oz every session after that, though sometimes my last session of the day is a little less. I've learned how to use the pump to my best advantage--turn it up about 90% power during the let down phase, then when it's done with that, turn it down to about 75%. That plus the occasional fenugreek has helped increase my supply by about three fold. I can usually put 2 bags in the freezer every day, and have a stash of 30-40 bags in there (I'm running out of room!) along with at least 6 bags in the fridge at any given time. After some research, I discovered I have what is considered an over-abundant milk supply. It's probably why I've had problems with clogged ducts and mastitis, but I couldn't be happier--it means I have enough to feed my baby and I can probably even donate some milk when he's done drinking breastmilk. And there are great benefits: when he goes to the Infant Care Center the afternoons I work, he's still getting breastmilk. James can feed him, even in the wee hours of the morning. The same goes for grandparents, friends and sitters, even Great-Grandma Van fed him. I still wish I didn't feel as judged and feel the need to explain and justify when asked if he's being exclusively breastfed and I wish I could convince myself that pumping in public should be no different than nursing (for some reason, it is), but maybe our society will get there eventually. For now, you can find me pumping at 6, 10, 2, 6 and 10 every day.

Emmi's Tips for Better Pumping:
-Use heat, especially if you have a clogged duct. Heat encourages the milk to flow, and with a clog, it seems to loosen it. It usually took me 3 sessions with heat to unclog a clogged duct (with massage)
-Breast compressions help empty your breasts completely each time you pump. This is very important to help prevent clogged ducts
-Have a set length of time that you pump for (17 minutes for me), but if you're still expressing milk, keep going until your breasts empty
-Have a schedule, whether it's every three, four or five hours. Your body will get used to it and expect it
-If you need to bump up supply, increase how often you pump. When my supply dropped I went back to every three hours for a day, and it was back to normal again
-Drink lots of water!! When I don't keep hydrated enough, my supply drops
-Supplement with fenugreek. I was taking 2-3 tablets 4-5 times a day. (You're taking enough when you start to smell like maple syrup). Mother's Milk tea also helps, but the fenugreek is by far the most useful
-Turn the suction power up during the letdown cycle, then down after. That better mimics how an infant feeds
-Make sure you're using the right size flanges. I went from the M the pump came with to a L, and now use an XL
-Use lanolin on your nipples prior to pumping to help lubricate. It's safe for breastfeeding. I use the Medela brand since the Lansinoh brand is too thick for me
-Remember to eat. It's estimated that breastfeeding burns 20 calories per ounce, and it's got to be at least as must for pumping, so keeping up your energy is important
-Remember why you're doing it when it hurts, but if it gets to be too much don't feel bad if you have to stop! You have to take care of yourself first, or else there won't be anyone to take care of baby!

Grayson's Birth Story

Whoo! Finally getting around to writing Grayson's birth story. And it only took 3 months.

We went to bed Saturday night around 11pm after running errands all day. We were pretty beat since we'd been up late Friday night for our friends' wedding and then didn't even sleep in Saturday, opting to get stuff done instead. And good we did. James got into bed, and I laid down, but just couldn't get comfortable. I had been sick Thursday and still felt icky, plus I was really nauseous and I was having (what I thought were) Braxton-Hicks contractions. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to sleep yet, so I decided to get up and walk, get some water, then surf the web a bit.

I ended up on the bump, and they had a contraction timer. Since they had been getting a bit stronger, and seemed more frequent, I decided to time them for fun. After a few, I realized they were nowhere near regular, though they were getting stronger, and were only 3 minutes apart at most. I figured I was probably in labour, but didn't think much about it since our class had said we would probably labour at home 8-9 hours before heading to the hospital. HAH. As soon as I realized I was in labour (and had decided I wouldn't wake up James til I needed to), I all of a sudden felt like I had peed myself a little. It was surprising and disconcerting, and I hadn't had any incontinence the entire pregnancy. It was my water breaking! Like everyone says, it's nothing like the movies at all. This was around 12:45 am, and I went and woke up James, saying "I think my water broke...what should I do?" Since we'd had the false alarm before, I didn't want to end up in the hospital again if it wasn't the real thing. James did a very comical jump out of bed, wide awake immediately. He told me to call the doctor...we waited for about 45 minutes for a return call, with my contractions getting stronger and stronger. It was at the point where James was going to take me in with or without the doctor's recommendation when the doctor called back and told me I needed to go in to the hospital.

We headed to the ER, since the main hospital entrance was closed (this was around 1:20 am), and by this time my contractions were intense, though no more regular than before. I was in qite a bit of pain, but still able to walk. However, when James turned into the wrong entrance and we had to turn around and drive further, I was not a very happy camper. I got wheeled up to labour and delivery and they checked me in which seemed to taken an eternity. By the time they put us in a room, I was screaming myself hoarse with each contraction. They checked me and said I was only 2 cm dilated and that if the amniotic fluid test came back negative or I hadn't dilated to 3 cm within an hour, they'd have to send me home. I guess I gave the nurse a death stare because she hurriedly added that they'd give me painkillers. I'm sure everyone else on the floor was thrilled I was there because I was making no effort to be quiet. My nurse went to lunch right after that, and aonther came in to readjust the fetal heartrate monitor. By this point my legs were quaking (not just shaking, but quaking) between contractions. She said that was caused by the hormone that causes you to dilate. She stared at me for a few seconds and said, "I'm going to check you again because you look like you're in a lot of pain, and if you're progressing we can go ahead and get the epidural blood and paperwork started." It had only been about half an hour, but I had already reached 3.5 cm and was given the official you're in labour paperwork. We called my parents and I can just remember looking at James saying "We're not ready! We haven't vacuumed or organized the bookshelves yet! We aren't ready yet!" His response? "Well, I don't think this is going to stop at this point."

Thank God for the epidural. By the time they came in half an hour after that, I was at 5 cm and still screaming. The anesthesiologist was great, and I barely even felt the needle. I freaked out for a while after getting the epidural since the contractions still hurt, but after about 30 minutes, I finally had some relief. They tried (three times) to attach an internal fetal heartrate monitor to the baby's head, but after it fell off the third time they gave up. I also had an internal contraction monitor, and we could watch all of it on a screen next to my bed. James was thinking about going to walk the dogs since he figured we'd be there a while, but that idea went out the window when they came in to check me again about an hour and a half later and I was already at 8 cm. The nurse had just walked out of the room, when she came rushing back in with another nurse. There'd been some spike or drop in the fetal heartrate that they wanted to check. The second nurse checked me again, while my nurse said "She was just at 8 cm." The nurse looked over at her and said to me "You're fully dilated [10 cm]. Was this the girl you were going to send home?" All in all, I went from 2 to 10 cm in 5 hours, much to the shock of my nurses, who said that was very rare for a first time mom. At least that explains the intensity of the contractions.

"Wallaby" still hadn't dropped, so I was instructed to sleep and see if he'd drop any more before starting to push. I don't know how long I slept, but even though he hadn't dropped much more they decided to have me push. I pushed for an hour. It was coached pushing since I had an epidural--the nurse would monitor the contractions and tell me when to push. I would push 3 times to a count of ten during each contraction. After an hour I was told to rest/sleep again. I'm guessing I rested for about an hour or more before I pushed again. They had turned down my epidural by half and given me pitocin since my contractions were weakening. They said they wanted me to feel the urge to push (which I never did until he had already crowned, when I wasn't supposed to push). So I spent another hour pushing and was completely exhausted by the end of that hour. They had set up a mirror since they said it helped to focus the pushing, but I wasn't too pleased with that. At this point the nurse thought I might be a candidate for the vacuum extraction. She said she'd go get the doctor, but that when he came in, I had to push as hard as I could. He came in, I pushed and he agreed, though he warned me I only had one contraction (three pushes) to use the vacuum assist since it can't be used indefinitely. I was pretty sure the other option was a c-section and was getting a little scared, but was determined that this would work. And it did! With the doctor using the vacuum assist, I delivered the baby. Little Grayson Henry had arrived at 1:51 pm on Sunday, October 14!

Everything after that is a bit of a blur. I know he was toweled off and placed on m chest very quickly. James cut the cord, they gave him his vitamin K shot and eye drops, weighed and measured him and got him back on my chest for skin to skin time very quickly. While they were measuring the baby, the doctor was taking care of me. If I hadn't been so tired I think I might have punched him when he pushed on my stomach to deliver the placenta. That was probably the most painful part. He kept massaging to help the uterus start to contract back down to size and make sure all the placenta was delivered. I had a second degree tear (not bad) so he stitched me up and I was good to go. By this point, Grayson was back on my chest. He was 7 lb, 12 oz, measuring 20.5". He was an absolutely beautiful baby (though a little squished at first) and so tiny and perfect.

We spent all Sunday and Monday in the hospital before being sent home on Tuesday. My doctor came by on Monday and told me that my bloodwork had indicated that I was moving toward preeclampsia, so they probably would have induced me at my appointment Monday night. But, as he said, "Nature knows best." He had his first bath in the hospital, with James helping and Lynn was an absolute blessing, walking the dogs, bringing James breakfast, bringing us both some lunch and being so helpful. My parents arrived late Monday night and were amazing--they stayed for two weeks and took a lot of the night duty so we could sleep. It turns out Grayson couldn't (still can't) nurse, so I was pumping (pump saga finally worked out WHILE I was in labour thanks to James). But that's another post altogether. Well, it took me over 3 months, but here's his birth story! It's a bit long, but so is labour :)

Birth plan: Epidural-->Sleep-->Push-->Baby

Grayson Henry Lawrence.
Born Sunday, October 14, 2012 at 1:51 pm
7 lbs, 12 oz. 20.5 in long.

With the stuffed animal that was originally his aunt's, then his dad's
We even have a photo of this animal with his dad in his bassinet :)

Proud daddy

Tired, but happy, mommy

Daddy and a finely swaddled Grayson

Skin to skin time, and I can't get over his perfect, tiny fingers

Our go-home checklist

39 Weeks

Would you believe there's only 7 days left?! I know I can't!

To be honest, despite the fact that I've truly enjoyed being pregnant I am ready to NOT be pregnant. It's not just a matter of the superficial things I'm looking forward to (sleeping on my back, sushi, etc) but has become a matter of me being miserable. And yes, I'm about to get whiny. My hips hurt and even when I don't do anything I can't walk at the end of the day. I can't sleep through the night and turning over is exhausting, painful and involves loud cracks and pops from my hips and back. I can't stand up or sit down or move without my hips cracking or sending shooting pain down my legs. My belly is so huge I can't do anything anymore, and the skin is so stretched out that it's numb...but it still itches, which is maddening. Everything is swollen, and it's not getting any better. I haven't been able to wear my seahorse ring in weeks and I feel like I look like a balloon that's filled to bursting. Seriously, soon my flip flops won't fit. Clothes don't fit properly anymore either. All those shirts that were cute and adorable with a little bump are awkward and unflattering now; they need to make separate maternity clothes specifically for the third trimester, or at least for the last month or so. Ok, I'm done whining. And I'd like to add this caveat to my whine: I have loved being pregnant and the fact that my body can make a little human is amazing! I'm astounded at my body's ability to make life and I love feeling him squirm and kick and am so excited to meet him. But, there are cons to it, and I needed to vent them out, so, again, sorry for the whine.

Tuesday was pretty relaxed. I spent the day working on one of the wedding presents for the big day on Friday! Both James and I are super excited about it. Wallaby has strict orders to stay in there until Friday evening; after 6:30 pm, he is free to show up whenever he'd like. Unfortunately, my lunch date fell through due to a miscommunication, but it's ok. I was a bit exhausted and not really up to going out to eat. I'm not really up to going out at all lately. I just get so tired so easily, and the above whine applies all day too.

Wednesday was the beginning of the festivities, and the beginning of the end of work for me. Only 16 hours of work left. When work was over, I ran home to rest for a bit before the rehearsal. Since we're not actually standing up there with them, our part in the rehearsal was minor; we will light the candles next to and on the altar, marking the beginning of the ceremony. Then we headed to the rehearsal dinner, which was lovely and delicious. Salad and lasagna and good company, what more could you ask? We got to sit with some lovely people and chat; even though I was tired when we got home, I had a great time.

I woke up Thursday with a cold. It was supposed to be my last day at work, but with labour coming up soon and the wedding the next day, I thought it might be better to just rest instead of pushing myself. So unfortunately, I didn't make my last day at work. Instead, I stayed on the couch, sipping broth and hot tea and dozing on and off. I was ravenous, so every time I woke up, I ended up eating. James brought home some lemons so I could make hot lemon and honey for my throat, and I went through at least a box of kleenex throughout the day. I had been looking forward to getting my nails and toes done with the bridesmaids, but I ended up having to opt out. I just didn't want to get anyone else sick, and I really wanted to conserve my energy for Friday--I'm so excited about the wedding! Thursday was just a miserable day and I can't imagine going through labour while being this sick.

Friday was a very busy day. Luckily, I did my makeup before my doctor's appointment, since the appointment was at 2 and the wedding at 5:30. I was worried about getting there on time if the doctor was late for some reason (like surgery, which he does Friday mornings). Sure enough, he was a bit late. My blood pressure was a bit high again and they had me lie down on my side. It went down again, but not as much as before, so the doctor sent me for tests. He had said if it hadn't gone down, I'd have to go to the hospital for monitoring, and when I asked "Today?," he said "Well, yes. What else are you going to do?" To which I replied "We have a wedding! Can you wait until 6:30?" That's when he ordered the blood tests, to be completed STAT with the results called in to his cell phone. They would call me if there were any problems. Naturally, this freaked me out, especially added to the fact that he wanted to see me on Monday again. So, I tried to stay calm as they drew blood and we headed home. I refreshed my makeup and hair as James got his suit on. Since there's black in my dress, I brought it to the church with me and changed. I managed to wedge my feet into my most comfortable heels for the duration of the ceremony, but changed into flip flops in the car on the way to the ceremony. The ceremony was lovely: Laura looked absolutely gorgeous and radiant and Chris looked like a little kid on Christmas morning. It was so sweet, especially as Laura kissed Chris' hand after putting his ring on. We stayed after for the photos and then headed to the reception with the rest of the bridal party. There wasn't anywhere to sit out front, so we sat in back as we waited for the guests of honour to arrive; this worked out well since the caterers came out with the hot hor d'oeuvres to the back first: yum! We walked out with the bridal party and discovered that someone from the church had saved us two seats, which was great. We had a lovely time, eating appetizers and chatting. We got to see people from the church and people from my sorority that I haven't seen in ages. It was so much fun to catch up with everyone. And eventually, I even felt good enough to dance a bit. And everyone else was shocked that I was dancing, but I had a fun time--gonna dance that baby out of me! We ended up staying the entire night until the bride and groom headed out. My favourite part was probably the garter toss--it turns out they used the garter Chris caught at our wedding! Instead of going straight to bed, we walked the dogs and went back out to Lazy Dog to grab a late dinner (my stomach demands more than appetizers these days) before heading home and absolutely crashing out. Or at least, I crashed out completely. I had so much fun, but was so exhausted. Luckily, there was no call from the doctor, so nothing was too wrong with my bloodwork.

Saturday was pretty relaxed--the only thing we had to do was meet McKenzi, our wedding photographer, to get James' graduation photos taken. My mom had a robe and mortarboard from her graduation, and got James a tassel and honour stole from Prescott and photos for his birthday. Since McKenzi was in town, we were able to book a mini session with her to get some photos done. She also had me step into some, which I wasn't expecting: James was all fancied up and I was in my sweats, so we were a bit incongruous, but she did take an absolutely adorable photo, which you can see below! It was great to see her again; she's helped us capture some of the most memorable milestones of our lives together, and it was nice to add this one too. We ran some errands, just trying to get everything done before Wallaby arrives. We were both pretty tired from staying out so late the night before, but we still didn't manage to get to bed until about 11 pm. I wasn't feeling too great, and knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep for a while--I was having contractions, I figured they were Braxton Hicks, and figured I'd walk a bit, have some water and wait for them to go away. Well, they didn't go away and before long we were heading to the hospital! (For the full birth story, please read the next post)

How far along: 39 Weeks

Total weight gain: +37 lbs

Favourite clothes: I wish I could just stay in my pyjamas all day long

Sleeping: Pretty decently, when I manage to fall asleep

Best moment: The wedding was so much fun! I loved seeing everyone and dancing and had such a great time!

Worst moment: The ASAP bloodwork made me worry quite a bit, especially the few hours after, waiting to see if we got a call or not

Miss anything: Everything I can't have

Cravings: Nothing right now, just eating a LOT (I'm so hungry all the time!)

New symptoms: I'm so hungry all the time! And those contractions were definitely new!

Looking forward to: Holding my baby! I couldn't wait all week, but just kept hoping he'd wait until the wedding was over!

Pregnancy brain moments: None right now

Listening to: Let's see, they played Lady Gaga at the wedding--I had to give Chris some shite about that since he gave it to me for playing some at our wedding.

Crafting: I've given up on finishing things before Wallaby arrives, so we'll stick with what we have

Baby projects: See above!

So there's a lot of photos this week...deal with it :)

Coutesy of Taylored Photo Memories. Labour started that night

39 Weeks: Wallaby is the size of a pumpkin

Pumpkin sized belly

Oy. Carrying that baby around!

39 Week profile shot!

38 Weeks

Only 14 days left! I know the due date is just a guess, and I have this feeling he's going to be a bit late, but it's still exciting to have a countdown! I have a feeling he's going to show up sometime on the 19th. Anyone else want to offer a guess?

It was a pretty relaxed week, which is good because I'm so easily exhausted now. I had lunch with a friend of mine on Tuesday afternoon and ran a few errands afterwards. It's mostly just little things now instead of big ones. Wednesday and Thursday were spent at work, but James and I went to the young adult group Wednesday night, where we watched the presidential debates. The relaxing effects of crochet are completely negated by the debates. And I wish I didn't have to go into work the next day; usually I can just let my boss' political comments roll off my back, but it's been getting harder and harder. Oh well, only 2 weeks left and I'll be off work for about a month after the election's over!

We got the carpets cleaned Friday morning, and they showed up 20 minutes early, just like the exterminators. Luckily, James hadn't gotten into the shower yet, though he had the water on and was about to step in when they knocked. We rushed around, getting as much as possible off the carpets--on the bed, in the crib, in the kitchen or on the patio. They were great--even moving furniture and cleaning underneath. After a few days with fans going, the carpets are pretty dry. The doctor's appointment showed some small progress--my blood pressure wasn't elevated at all and I'm a tiny bit dilated (0.5 cm) which is some progress. It seems he'll probably follow his marching orders and not show til after the wedding. When we got home, I managed to reorganize my entire bathroom and all those drawers of stuff, including going through my incredibly large stash of makeup (the stuff I am no longer keeping fills a gallon size ziploc bag). I was exhausted, but it felt good to get something done. James picked up some enchiladas from our favourite Mexican place (along with chips and salsa YUM) so we didn't have to cook or clean up.

The rest of the weekend was spent running errands. Usually I'm ok, but between hip pain, stomach pain and a tension headache that randomly appears at the back of my skull, I end up quite grouchy sometimes--James is truly the most patient man I know. We dropped James' car to get his back windows tinted, something he's wanted to do for a while and helpful for shade in the back. We got gas, braved the Costco crowds, did a Target run, stopped at two different Babies R Us-es and three Macy's to find nursing bras, got the wedding presents for Friday (though now we need wrapping paper!), stopped by Home Depot and ended up exhausted both nights. Luckily, we had some easy meals, but sadly, I missed my little's bachelorette party as I was sacked out on the couch by 8:30 (apparently they had barely gotten started by then).

Monday I ran some more errands--a Skype date in the morning, followed by my sugaring appointment, then a quick stop at the library for some more books before meeting James for lunch. After lunch, I got the groceries we'd need before heading home to work on the baby book with the photos from Costco. I got some of it done, but sadly I got glue all over one photo when I had to pull it up and re-place it, so I have to go pick up another set of photos before I can finish that. In sorting laundry I also learned that the clerks at the Macy's in Westminster forgot to remove their ink tag security device from one of the bras, which means I have to find time at some point next week to go down there and get it removed. It's not like the next few days are going to be busy enough--between the wedding happenings and my last two days of work, I'm not sure when I'll have time to wrap the wedding presents, let alone get to Macy's or run any of the other going out errands I have to do before baby arrives. I know there will be stuff I don't get done, but I'd like to do as much as possible.

How far along: 38 Weeks

Total weight gain: +37 lbs

Favourite clothes: My nightgown. And a blanket.

Sleeping: Pretty well, despite early starts in the morning

Best moment: 0.5 cm dilated! That's a little bit of progress at least! 

Worst moment: Heartburn. I really, really hate heartburn.

Miss anything: Not being pregnant

Cravings: Nothing in particular, though salads are delicious

New symptoms: Heartburn. Also, the skin on my stomach is numb. And itchy. It's bizarre...

Looking forward to: Laura and Chris' wedding on Friday! Whoo!

Pregnancy brain moments: I keep switching words. Like Spoonerisms, but with complete words instead of letters. It's quite annoying.

Listening to: Mumford & Sons

Crafting: I finished the cocoon on Sunday!It looks cute, even though it's SUPER long...

Baby projects: I definitely didn't get everything done I wanted to, but that's ok.

38 Weeks: Wallaby is the size of a watermelon!

I like these belly and board photos because I'm ridiculously swollen, but you can't tell as much in these photos

38 week profile shot

How is this size even possible?

37 Weeks

Here we are! Full term baby on board and an unimaginably large belly. Despite the little aches, pains and inconveniences that I've vented about here, I've really enjoyed being pregnant. It really is absolutely amazing that women's bodies can create a brand new life, and I feel bad that men don't get to experience that. But, then my hips start aching from sitting, or I run into something with the belly and I don't feel too bad. :)

The breast pump saga has continued. I spent about 3-4 hours total on the phone with Blue Shield this week. Finally getting transferred to a manager after a supervisor put me on hold for an hour only to tell me what I began our conversation with. Apparently, with the implementation of the ACA, I get to be a guinea pig since Blue Shield's provider contracts haven't caught up with the new laws. My case got sent to the "Plan Architects" for them to figure out how they'll accomodate the fat that they now have to cover 100% of a purchased (not rented) breast pump of any style. With the pressure of my due date and the help of the manager fighting in my corner, it was dealt with quickly--she called with daily updates and on Monday I got a call with a new provider name. I'll be calling them as soon as I get the new authentication. It's been a SAGA, but I am hopeful that it's finally over.

My emotions are a bit crazy, and I totally blame hormones. I readily admit that I am an easily irritated person; it's not something I'm proud of, and it's something that I'm constantly trying to work on. However, with the pregnancy, my tenuous hold on my temper has become more dubious. Wednesday let me in a grumpy mood after an overpriced, icky lunch left me with no water, afternoon snack or book  (the first of which I finished in the morning). I also missed the young adult group since my stomach was upset. Thursday was even more interesting. My boss loves his conservative talk radio, and I can usually tune it out, but he went off about something called the Obamaphone on Thursday. I really don't have the energy to get into it right now, but Snopes points out that it was not implemented by Obama and my boss has a high chance of getting a computer virus based on the fact that he would visit a website called obamaphone.net...*smh*. In the afternoon, a "solicitor" came by. I use the term loosely since she was so lazy that she didn't stick the flyer in the door, through the mail slot or even come in; she just dropped the flyer on the sidewalk outside of our door! I was so upset that I went out to pick up the flyer, and started admonishing her for littering and being lazy. She just stared at me like I was crazy. My boss said he was scared of me, and he was inside! Maybe I am crazy, but I can't believe someone littering so nonchalantly. Gr. Between the headache this incurred and the hip pain that struck later, it was a long afternoon. James made a surprise dinner for me so I didn't have to cook--a fantastic chicken piccata. I am truly blessed with the best, most thoughtful husband.

On Friday James got his shots--apparently there's a whooping couch endemic in California, so he got his booster (I'll get mine after the birth) and then a flu shot, then the second of a two part vaccine he never completed. His arms were pretty sore for the next few days. My blood pressure was a bit high again at the doctor's, but after lying on my left side, it dropped again. My doctor is watching like a hawk for pre-eclampsia, but since it drops, he doesn't seem too concerned. We have another appointment in a week since there's no sign of labour happening soon. We had some guests for dinner, making pollo asado tacos with grilled pineapple and mango salsa. It was delicious and great to see friends, but I had to cut the evening short--I just get so tired and I'd overextended myself, which made itself plain in my hip pain. I broke down and took some pain medicine, but could still barely walk.

The weekend was very long but fun. We woke up Saturday to no hot water, which continued on and off for the entire day. The property manager wouldn't approve paying a plumber overtime, and I was lucky to get a hot shower at 9 pm (by 9:20, James' shower was cold). My stomach was also so upset the entire day I couldn't do anything or eat much of anything either. Then I got to spend an hour on the phone fighting with Verizon--smartphones hate me and I'm just about done with them. Luckily, being stuck on the couch all day was good for my hip. Sunday started with a car seat inspection at 8 am at the Irvine Police department. It's a good thing they had a cancellation since their next appointment wasn't until the end of October! We ran some more errands: returning a robe we bought for the hospital (I am done convincing myself I'm a robe person, I'm not), looking for a cheap, throw-away nightgown for the hospital, returning the window shades (get cling-on ones!) and waterproof playard sheet (didn't fit), getting special files for baby receipts and manuals and making a quick return to Macy's and getting some slippers for the hospital too! We ended at Macy's at the mall, and while I stopped at the restroom, James surprised me by getting tickets for the Avengers at the dollar theatre. We had an hour to kill, so James took me to Destination Maternity, where he found a very cute nursing cover--it looks like a cardigan instead of an apron and he's very proud of having found it. Then he took me to the cafe in Nordstrom for some food before we quickly headed to the movie. I felt so pampered and spoiled! However, I can only assume what happened next was contractions. Not only did my stomach muscles get all hard, but I had really, really bad period cramps. I was close to telling James we had to leave, but I'm stubborn, so I ended up taking a quick catnap (like 5 minutes) and changing positions until they went away. They didn't come back, but they did convince me that I'll probably end up getting an epidural. Now, before you rush to comment, this is between me, James and my doctor and I do not want your opinion on it (sorry to be blunt, but any comments on that decision will be ignored and deleted, it's my body and my choice and it's not one I make lightly). We headed home to make chicken enchiladas and spend some time the pups. It was a wonderful day!

Monday started with a call to the dentist. I'd been having some really bad tooth pain on and off all weekend and it turns out I needed a root canal. So I spent my Monday morning in the dentist's chair, getting my tooth drilled. It's really not that bad, and the pain wasn't horrible, though I did end up with a headache at the end of the day. Despite the fact that I feel like it wasn't a big deal, it was still exhausting, and I spent the entire afternoon sleeping on and off on the couch. I still have some soreness if I bite down with that front tooth, but I figure it takes a day or two for the tooth to recover so I'm not too concerned at this point. I ended the evening by eating way too much.

I guess BabyWatch 2012 has officially begun (much like our news' stations "Storm Watch 2012" sensationalism). It's the first question parishioners ask James at work, and I got three calls yesterday! (I love you guys, but I hate phones...sorry!) Do not fret, you will know what happens when it happens--especially via facebook. I really don't think he's going to show up any time soon, so I wouldn't expect to learn the name until at least the due date! ;)

How far along: 37 weeks

Total weight gain: +34 lbs

Favourite clothes: A nightgown my parents got me. Super soft and comfy

Sleeping: Pretty well, minus the snap, crackle and pop I hear with each position shift

Best moment: My Sunday evening pampering!

Worst moment: Root canal

Miss anything: Normal activity, getting up without grunting

Cravings: Nothing in particular, though I really wanted some of Gabbi's shrimp enchiladas

New symptoms: Nothing new. The hip pain just gets worse and worse and I am so exhausted

Looking forward to: Meeting my baby boy, my friends' wedding, seeing my parents

Pregnancy brain moments: Nothing so far, though James left an empty water glass in the fridge the other day...maybe I passed it on to him!

Listening to: The Piano Guys! They're pretty cool and do great instrumental stuff

Crafting: Still working on the cocoon, but exhaustion and headaches make this difficult

Baby projects: *Sigh* so many, and so little time left. I think I'll have to give up on some/most of these ambitious plans. But it's ok, we've done a lot and I'm happy with what we've managed to do!

37 Weeks: Wallaby is now FULL TERM!

Oy, the belly is getting big

Very, very pregnant

Maternity Calendar Shirt

I have had so many people ask me where I got the shirt I use in my weekly photos, and I've decided to write up a post about the DIY I followed and the tips and tricks I learned (by making mistakes). If you love the shirt, but aren't a DIY person, do not fear! The original creator has the shirt available for purchase here.

First of all, credit for the idea goes to Miranda of One Little Minute, and was posted at DIY Maternity. I basically used her tutorial, but I changed a few things and there are some other things I would change if/when I make another one.

I'm not going to go through her tutorial; it's fantastic and thorough and that's why I linked to it. But I will share the things I learned:

1) Buy a NICE shirt that will last you the pregnancy. The ruched side Target shirt I got looked great until I hit the third trimester. Now it is unflattering, and requires a cami underneath it (because it shows my belly and because it's so thin). I wish I had invested in a Pea in the Pod ruched side shirt--the two I have I'm absolutely in love with.

2) I am not a fan of puffy (dimensional) paint, so I chose to use Tulip's matte fabric paint. Black for the numbers and crimson to cross off the weeks.

3) Since you'll be tracing onto the freezer paper, conserve trees and print the numbers double-sided with one space between them.

4) Turn on a movie or a few tv shows and curl up with your freezer paper, a fine tip sharpie and your exacto knife (I bought a hobby knife specifically for this). It'll take a few hours to trace and cut out everything. Remember to keep the little pieces from the 4, 6, 8, 9 and 0's--you'll have to iron these into place too!

5) Carefully place your stencil before ironing. I wish I had measured and centered it perfectly. A little OCD? Yes, but the fact that it's off centre drives me NUTS.

6) Place something between the two layers of your shirt, unless you want to paint the layers together, like I did the first time. (This also applies for each week you cross off! Even a plastic bag works!)

7) I used a sponge brush and sponged on a coat of the black over the stencil. I had an issue with brush strokes pulling up the stencil on my first shirt and learned that daubing the paint onto the fabric worked best for me. DO TWO COATS!! I ran out and am impatient, so mine's a bit light and faded now.

8) DO NOT IRON THE PAINT. I know the original tutorial says to, but this is how I ruined the first shirt (and almost ruined the iron). Read the instructions on your paint to see if it needs any special setting technique and follow those instructions. I ended up with melted paint smeared all over the shirt.

9) I am a bit of a perfectionist, and not skilled enough with a sponge brush to pull off decent-looking cross-marks. I have a brush whose bristles are glued together (it's my glue brush!) that makes a nice, fine line that I use to cross out the numbers.

10) Wash the shirt inside out to prevent as much fading as possible. Mine's faded pretty noticeably by now, at least up close and in person, but since the cut is no longer flattering on me, I don't wear the shirt except for the photos.

11) Cover your work area! Somehow, fabric paint (both red and black) ended up on one of our brand new dining chairs and on the rear of a pair of James' shorts, both of which are khaki. I don't know how since I don't think he was even home when I was working on it, and it's not a huge deal since I figure the impending child will cause many more messes, but still--take precautions, no matter how careful you think you are.

One last note: Please remember that this is for personal use only--you cannot make and sell this shirt. That would be WRONG and STEALING from her. So don't do it. Check out the disclaimer at the bottom of the tutorial for the legal wording. (In fact, I asked permission to even link before I posted this). Now, happy crafting!